Monday, May 14, 2007
So I made it through today with one pop total - a diluted fountain regular coke pop. Just one - pretty good I thought for day 1. If I can keep this up for the next two weeks I'll be well on my way.
Today was a challenge. People tested me (of course without knowing it), but they did and I passed - they are all still alive.. HA! They say that when people copy something you do - it's the most sincere form of flattery. Well BULLSHIT! it's not flattering to me - it's downright annoying. Can people really not just do something cool on their own. I mean really - I am no trend setter - I follow my own rules - I have my own book that I write, and I suppose if I do something that is "main stream" and others like it - and copy it - I should be flattered but all I can think of is "for god's sake" be original. I am attempting to be original by myself - by you copying me- you have now made my idea not so original and I get annoyed...does it ruin my life - of course not - and do I stay mad for ever- no it's not worth my time....but for the sake of my sanity - don't follow me - I will lead you down a very dark path. Good thing I didn't crack out the whips...*G* Would anyone follow me then? Doubt it!
Ahh so the rantings of a lunatic. I could go all night long the mood I am in tonight. But for the sake of my sanity or perhaps my love for my insanity - I'll save the ravings for yet another night. They say email and merlow don't mix...*L*..What about Bartles & Jaymes & a Blog? Ahh a marriage made in heaven.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
For those of you who know me, you know that I have for a long time been afflicted with a horrible habit. It's not drugs, alcohol or smoking...it's Diet Pop - Pepsi and Coke when it has to be to be more specific. I am now 30 - almost 31 and I have been drinking "Pop" in large consumptions (sometimes more than 2L a day) since I was 15. 8 Years ago I switched to Diet Pop (w/aspertame) because I had joined Weight Watchers and was allocated a certain amount of points a day in which I could consume (calorie wise). A regular pop would cost me 3 points and when you only have 27 points a day and drinking 2L plus- I was deflated - I knew unless I switched to Diet I would "never" loose the weight. But then I was told - that Diet pop is free...no points.
I switched IMMEDIATELY to Diet - I didn't slowly start - I went full tilt - buying anything and everything I could with Aspertame in it -after all it wouldn't count for any points and I could eat/drink as much as I wanted. The first 2 or 3 weeks I was ILL. I had the wildest stomach cramps, was moody, and tired. I chalked that up to the diet, change in lifestyle and the "sugar" withdrawal I was going through. I did blame the stomach cramps on the Aspertame - I knew it was a different "Chemical" introduced to my system and I gave it (my body) time to adjust. Eventually it became the norm - regular pop tastes like shit (dirt) to me and it's been Diet and only Diet drinks from then on.
I lost some weight on Weight Watchers - I was doing well and really only 30lbs from my goal. I quit and did it on my own. For 6 months I maintained my weight...and then it happened. I ballooned. I gained everything I had lost plus 30 more pounds - I've tried OVER AND OVER AND OVER again to loose the weight, all the while hanging on to my staple - my meal replacement, my constant side kick Diet Pepsi.
I've battled ridiculous stomach issues - loud gurgling, loss of appetitie, fatigue, blurred vision, hair loss, sore muscles, muscle cramps, weight gain, bloating, swelling and the list goes on and on. As I type this I am looking at my glass of Diet Pepsi and as much as it repulses me, it screams my name. An addict - in every sense of the word. I know the drink is VERY unhealthy. I've read the reports, got the emails, been told over and over again how bad aspertame is for me and like a smoker who knows they could easily get cancer but continues to smoke, I continue to drink.
A month ago, I was researching online how to kick what I believe I have - a Caffeine addiction and came across a ton of sites that said "Quitting Heron would be easier". Caffeine is a tough one to beat and as I read the pages and pages of blog posts of people talking about how they "tried" to kick the Caffeine habit - they just could not. Defeated I decided that I too would not be able to kick the habit and continue to drink my 2L a day of Diet Sludge.
Tonight - I am fed up with my stomach issues, fed up with my weight, fed up with feeling like complete and utter shit all the time. So I typed "Addicted to Diet Pepsi" in Yahoo. I came across a blog site of a gal who is a lot like me (http://presidiotex.com/personal_stories/Diet_Croak_Addict/diet_croak_addict.html). Her story is almost EXACTLY like mine. As I read it - I thought Good God..this is me and I have to quit drinking it.
After I read her blog I found a site of Aspertame Side Effects. There are a ton of them - I am listing them here to be a constant reminder to myself. Those listed in red are all the ones I experience or have experienced:
Aspartame Side Effects
Adverse reactions and side effects of aspartame include:
- Eyeblindness in one or both eyes
- decreased vision
- and/or other eye problems such as: blurring,
- bright flashes,
- squiggly lines,
- tunnel vision,
- decreased night vision
- pain in one or both eyes
- decreased tears
- trouble with contact lenses
- bulging eyes
- Eartinnitus - ringing or buzzing sound
- severe intolerance of noise
- marked hearing impairment
- Neurologic epileptic seizures
- migraines and (some severe)
- both confusion, memory loss,
- both severe drowsiness and sleepiness
- paresthesia or numbness of the limbs
- severe slurring of speech
- severe hyperactivity and restless legs
- atypical facial pain
- severe tremors
- severe depression
- personality changes
- Chest palpitations,
- tachy cardia
- shortness of breath
- recent high blood pressure
- Gastrointestinal nausea diarrhea, sometimes with blood in stools
- abdominal pain
- pain when swallowing
- Skin and Allergies itching without a rashlip and mouth reactions
- aggravated respiratory allergies such as asthma
- Endocrine and Metabolic loss of control of diabetes
- menstrual changes
- marked thinning or loss of hair
- marked weight loss
- gradual weight gain
- aggravated low blood sugar (hypoglycemia)
- severe PMS
- frequency of voiding and burning during urination
- excessive thirst,
- fluid retention,
- leg swelling, and
- increased susceptibility to infection
Good - so on this list - I have listed 30 different things that I experience almost every day. There are only 56 things on this list and I have well over half. Enough to scare the daylights out of me. Enough to definately make me want to quit. I'll finish my last glass....tonight. Struggle to get by this week without "dying" and try to be as humanly human as possible as I fight two very evil demons in this process. Caffeine & Aspertame..the game is over....It's time for me to claim back my body. Be gone with you both!!!